june elsewhere // mcu

[spacegrandma]

For once, June is not the one who is elsewhere! (I'm not saying this is a part one, but it feels like a part one.)

2424 words



“Why are you calling me?” June demands into the phone. “You never call me.”

“Hm, yes,” Bart agrees. “It’s quite dreadful, isn’t it?”

“Is something wrong?” June hisses.

Something must be wrong for Bart to call her. The levels to which Bart avoids using a phone are comparable to the levels in which he avoids going to City Hall. June can’t think of a single instance in which Bart has ever used his phone to make a call, despite June needling him to get one. Usually, he just texts her bits of poetry he finds particularly compelling and the little crystal ball emoji because he thinks he’s being funny when he does.

“Well,” he says, hemming and hawing, “there’s a little bit of a situation, I’m afraid. It’s probably best if you come down to 5 Hawthorne. Try to aim for my apartment this time. You do remember what happened the last time you ricocheted off of Griffin’s.”

June does not need to be reminded, thank you very much. It was very embarrassing for all parties involved. It had been particularly embarrassing for her, considering she was coming off the week-long bender that had been being able to see all magic and had a hard time adjusting back to normal.

June hangs up on Bart, which serves him right. She bends down to grab a shirt off the top of her laundry pile and sniffs it to make sure it’s clean before slipping it on. She’s not sure where her shoes have gotten to, so she goes down the stairs barefoot into her living room. She spirits a piece of chalk out of thin air and sketches out the right shape for a summoning circle, places the appropriate sigils where they need to go, and steps through the wall just as the shimmering of magic appears.

The circle spits her out into Bart’s bathroom. “Have you seen my shoes?”

“No,” Bart answers her from farther inside the apartment. “Why would they be here?”

“I don’t know,” she says. She opens the door and spills out into the hallway. “I just thought I’d check.”

Bart looks at her and then nods. “Well, it’s better than nothing,” he says. “Come on, everyone’s downstairs.”

“Where’s Edith?”

“Also downstairs. Garrett’s with her. It’s fine.”

June eyes Bart suspiciously but follows him when he leads her out of the apartment. She locks the door with a wave of her hand. Bart never bothers to lock his apartment, which bothers her a little bit. She says as much and he rolls his eyes.

They make it down to the lobby of 5 Hawthorne and June sees all the usual people - Garrett is indeed sitting with Edith on the couch off to the side. Lucien hovers outside the entrance to the coffee shop like it will stop functioning if he leaves it alone. Ziv and Liv are both there and June grins at Liv when she catches sight of June.

There are others, though, that June doesn’t recognize, which immediately puts her on guard.

Edith is gesturing enthusiastically at a man with sandy hair and a bow strapped to his back. June catches the tail end of what she’s saying to him as she comes around the back of the couch.

“... and I can explode things!”

The man raises his eyebrows like he’s impressed and nods along until he catches sight of June.

“Dear, you’ve got a bit of the doom and gloom going on there,” Bart says to her, unhelpfully.

June spins around to glower at him.

“June!” Edith says when she realizes June is behind her. “This is my June,” she says to the man in front of her.

“June,” Edith says seriously. “This is Clint. You have to speak so he can see your mouth move.”

She gestures to her ear and when June flicks her gaze over at Clint she can just make out the curve of a hearing aid.

“He can make things explode too,” Edith says, “but not with magic. He’s got special arrows.”

June nods stiffly. She’s not exactly sure what’s going on here, but she’s already sure that she doesn’t like it.

She turns so she can see the other people in the room she doesn’t recognize. There’s a boy in a blue and red costume with a spider emblazoned stylistically on the front. What she thinks might be a mask is pushed up to reveal a boyish face and blond hair. Just behind him is a girl roughly his age with her braided hair piled magnificently on the top of her head. She leans into the side of an older man with a single arm.

The man looks like he has seen some shit, June thinks.

“Introductions are in order, I expect,” Bart says. “Everyone, this is June. June, wave.”

“I’m not waving,” June says.

“June, this is Peter-” Spider-boy smiles and waves. June narrows her gaze. “Behind him is Shuri and that’s Bucky. You’ve met Clint.”

“Met is a strong word,” June says instead.

“Indeed,” Bart agrees. To the newcomers, he says, “June has the dubious honor of being the only one of us to cross universes, so she can probably figure out how to get you lot home.”

“Hey, that’s not strictly true,” June argues. “You crossed the first time to come get me. You have traveled across universes before too.”

Bart grimaces. “That only worked because of the combined efforts of Lucien and Fox. Also, there is the tiny, not-at-all-important fact that we’re literally connected by magic and they were able to use that to connect with you. All I had to do was bridge the gap.”

June scoffs. “What about when I summoned you the first time?”

“How about we not talk about that incredibly private thing in front of all these people?” Bart says pointedly, voice going up half an octave. “Again, you were the only reason that worked.”

“Shit,” June says. “That sucks.”

“No, you know what sucks?” A new voice, strangely metallic, asks. “What sucks is the technology here.”

June turns and catches sight of a tall metalloid … man. June folds her arms across her chest and straightens her back, unfurling to her full height. In her peripheral, she catches sight of Garrett, who has started nervously drumming his fingers on the back of the couch. June shifts her gaze back to the metal man and stares him down, literally. “What the fuck is this?”

June flicks out her hand and the metal man’s mask retracts back until she can see the face of the man underneath. He’s got a weird looking goatee and a surprised look on his face.

“How did you do that?” He demands.

June flicks her hand out again and drawls out sarcastically, “Magic.”

The man scoffs at her.

“Are you wearing pants under that euphemism for a dick?” The man looks offended, but June couldn’t care less. Clint, she notes, has circled around and is snickering at the man. Peter’s trying to look like he isn’t smiling. Shuri claps her hands together in delight.

The man in the suit must do something, because all at once the suit contracts back until a shorter man stands in front of her. He’s dressed in a business suit. It’s incredibly obnoxious.

“Tony Stark,” the man says. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Pleasure,” he says. It’s anything but.

June steps away from his outstretched hand and frowns. “Don’t touch me,” she says instead. “Are there more of you? I don’t like surprises.”

“Two more,” Bucky offers. “They’re not as off putting as Tony, though.”

“They’re called Thor and Bruce,” Bart says, because of course he’s already met them. “I quite like the big one myself. He reminds me of you, kind of.”

“Me?” June asks, affronted. “Well, where are they?”

Lucien clears his throat. “They’re holed up in my coffee shop,” he says, voice uncharacteristically thin.

Oh, boy, June thinks. Lucien only ever refers to the cafe as his when he’s stressed out about something.

“One of them keeps talking about the sun setting and, look, I don’t know what’s going on but I need them to leave. Now, preferably.”

Tony stalks past Lucien and into the cafe, brusquely ignoring Lucien and raising his voice to call out, “Brucie, it’s time to put on your big boy pants and come out here!”

“Ziv,” June says, gesturing for him to come to her. He does with minimal fussing. “Maybe you should take Lucien … away.”

Ziv, bless him, doesn’t even argue. June pats him vaguely in the direction of his shoulder in thanks. Ziv sidles up to Lucien and touches him on the elbow, which Lucien doesn’t even protest. He looks at Ziv like he’s discovering normal people for the first time and a furrow hits his brow, which is a good contrast to the offense that was coloring his face.

“Come on, Lucien,” Ziv says. “I’ll call one of the others to mind the cafe. I think I have a slice of cake in my apartment."

Although June wouldn’t mind seeing the newest blowhard get what’s coming to him, the last thing she wants to do is deal with a fairy who has his feelings hurt. Lucien may have lived in Hexham for much longer than June has even been alive and while working in customer service has given him the sort of backbone fairies don’t usually bother having, there are limits.

Tony Stark is apparently the limit.

June slumps against Bart’s shoulder. He covers his surprise by patting her on the back.

“All I wanted to do,” she says plaintively, “was sleep.”

“There’ll be time for that later, dear.”

“Why do I have to be the one who deals with this sort of stuff?” June brightens. “Oh, I know, let’s call Willie. She fixes things all the time.”

“Auntie Willie said to call you,” Edith calls out.

“Of course she did,” June mutters. She closes her eyes, but her attempts to fall back asleep are hindered by both Bart driving a knuckle into her side meanly and by three people exiting the coffee shop.

Tony leads the odd pair back into the lobby. One of them is tall and blond. He looks like a golden retriever with an eye patch and a grin on his face. He’s dressed in some sort of high collared get-up that is simultaneously both super old fashioned and on the cutting edge of technology. The other is a smaller man, dressed in a blazer and button up shirt. He has a nervous edge to him, even as he rolls his eyes at Tony.

“This is Bruce,” Bart offers, gesturing at the man in the blazer. Bruce lifts a hand and screws his mouth into a weird shape. What is with these people and waving, June wonders. “And this is-”

“I am Thor,” the blond one says in a jovial, rumbling tone, “God of Thunder, at your service.”

June digs her fingers into Bart’s wrist. With her free hand, she draws a familiar protection sigil onto the edge of her shirt, and she hisses, “Did I do this?”

Thor frowns and bats at the air in front of him. “Ow,” he says. “Stop that.”

June does not stop that -- at least, not until Bart grabs her and shakes her spell-casting hand a bit.

“Rude,” June snarls.

“I feel like if you ever do manage to summon a god,” Bart says in an attempt to placate her, “you will know that you’ve done so. I don’t think it will be a surprise like this.”

June hums under her breath and eyes the entire room suspiciously. “I guess you’re right.”

“Is that an actual concern of yours?” Clint asks.

June frowns at him.

Liv answers instead, “Everything is kind of cause for concern with June, to be honest.”

June whips around to stare at Liv. Liv smiles blandly.

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” June mutters, but she switches tack soon enough. She gestures to Thor. “Are you saying that this one reminds you of me, Bart, because I’ve got to say, I’m not feeling it.”

Bart laughs at her. “No, heavens.”

June stares at the pair who have come out of the coffee shop. She knows that Bart just introduced them as Bruce and Thor. She knows that Bart said the big one reminded him of her. “Thor is clearly the big one. He is the biggest of them all.”

Bart frowns. “No, Bruce is clearly the big one.”

June matches his frown and flicks her eyes between Bruce and Bart.

Bart cocks his head. “No, look,” he says and then uses his hand to trace the outline of something that is much, much bigger than Bruce. He seems to realize that all eyes are on him and the gesture trails off until he’s scratching the back of his head. “Oh, is this one of those things no one else can see? Whoops, sorry, never mind.”

He’s blushing, June knows. He dips his head and scratches the corner of his eye.

“Wait, are you saying that you can see him?” Bruce says, equal parts curious and horrified. “You can see the Hulk?”

Bart hums under his breath, equivocates. “Is that what he’s called? Really? I would have thought he would have an actual name. He looks kind of like a… oh dear, would you look at the time? I think I’ve left something in the oven.”

“Hold it,” June says. “If I have to deal with this, you have to deal with it too."

“No,” Bart says. “I’m pretty sure that I am leaving forever.”

“Not a chance, dear.”

“Drat,” Bart says.

“This is all thrilling,” Tony drawls. “Truly, I mean it. Keep going, it’s not like any of us are trying to get home or anything.”

June glares at him, but agrees. “Well, I need to be at least fifty-percent drunker if I’m going to deal with this. Garrett!”

Garrett looks up when his name is called, which disrupts the game he and Edith had been playing, where one person tries to slap the back of the other person’s hands. Edith smacks him on the back of his hands viciously and crows in victory.

“Ow. what?”

“Bring down the entirety of your liquor cabinet,” she says decisively, and then looks at Edith, “and maybe a bottle of juice, if you have it.”

The newcomers are staring at her now.

June grins. “I’ve got to get a whole lot drunker if I’m gonna send all these people home.”